Misty & China

You have to love little children – they are so inquisitive and adorable.

This past week, Thane’s new speech therapist sent a note home suggesting we work on “he/she” with Thane, and on having him use more precise descriptive language – not letting him get away with “I want something” while we try to guess what, but have him say, “I want the apple juice.”

I laughed about the he/she stuff and told his teacher we have been doing that for ages. That is when she told me the girls have nothing story below.

So a little while ago he came running in to check if I have lips (which automatically makes me think of Larry Boy from Veggie Tales). We confirmed I have lips, he has lips, and Dave has lips. He decided Misty, the dog, didn’t. I said she did, but hers are black. So he leaned down and corrected himself, saying “Yes, He has lips.”

Being the parent who tries to do the things therapists ask, I corrected him and said “Misty is a girl.”

“No, he’s dawg!” (For some reason Thane says “dog” with a Brooklyn accent. We joke it must be inbred, even though I don’t have one even though I was born in Kings County Hospital where they let people in the psych waiting room die on the floor and leave them there for an hour.)

“Yes, she is a dog, but she is a girl dog,” I replied.

“No, he’s a brother.”

“She’s a sister dog,” I said, but then the light bulb went off inside my mind and I added, “She doesn’t have a penis, she’s a girl.”

Well, I was right that it would make a different for him.

“Oh, she has a . . . a . . . poopie . . . a . . . what?” I had to laugh a bit because he has always been bothered by the fact that she has black skin at her anus, though her fur is bright white back there.

I said, “She has a vagina. She’s a girl.”

“That’s right! She has a China! I have to go tell Daddy that Misty is a girl so she has a China!”

We have a long house. He had to go through the foyer, through the living room, all the way through the disaster we call a kitchen, past the bathroom, and to the sunroom.

“Daddy, Misty’s from China! She has to go there to visit her family.”

I was expecting Dave to come out laughing about Misty having a China, but I waited a few minutes and nothing. I called him on the intercom and asked him if he thought it was funny that Mist had a China. He explained that the story he got was that she was from China, so she needed to go visit her family there.

I love the way the story was adapted on his way through the house!

Thane Humor

Thane and I were doing a Lazy Town maze last night when I explained that we had to stay away from character Robbie Rotten. I said he was a “stinker” so Thane decided I meant he smelled bad. You have to kind of picture him flapping excitedly and talking about Robbie Rotten being stinky to get the full effect.

Anyway, all the stinky talk led to me saying “P-U!”

Thane stopped flapping, opened his eyes really wide, and said with perfect intonation for a question, “He peed on me?” . . . followed by looking down to check himself out (and grabbing his package because he really likes that thing).

When I got to school today to get Thane, one of his teachers said that Thane told her he had to go to the bathroom so they went inside so he could pee.

When he was done, he said, “I have a penis.”
She agreed.
He said, “You're a girl so you don't have a penis . . . you've got NOTHING!”

So there you have it. From a boy’s point of view, if you don’t have a penis, you have nothing!

Snickering

I saw the owner of this store – which I happen to like as it has a nice selection of clothing for plus-size women – putting up this sale sign earlier this week. I think the wording is unintentionally humorous . . . and somewhat unfortunate as I am not sure it will really lure people in. I have been laughing at all week because my shirts do indeed resemble tents.