Thursday, January 29, 2009

Baby Tooth #9

Braeden lost his ninth baby tooth today. It's been awhile since he lost one, so I have been stalling about going to orthodontist . . . but I guess this means it is time to go back.

I also have to hand it to Braeden for being a wonderful big brother. He immediately turned his tooth loss into a teaching opportunity with Thaney. Thaney is terrified of losing his teeth because he likes them. One of the girls in his class has lost two this year. Thane was bothered by it and still adament about not losing his. But he is 5, so we are certainly approaching the time for them to start coming out. Somehow he took Braeden's news much easier, and was even celebrating this right of childhood with Braeden. I have to hand it to them for giving so many bright spots to my days.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Deep Thoughts

I find myself quoting Thane more than Braeden just because what he tends to say things that are kind of little-boy cute or a bit wonky. I’m sure I would have quoted Braeden much more if I was blogging when he was younger. Monday on the drive to school, though, I got one of those “Deep Thoughts” . . . or maybe not . . .

Braeden said that he was thinking about a bunch of different things and could only imagine how much more complicated it will be when he is an adult and has that much more to think about. Braeden is a grand planner – whether it is the movie he’d like to film in Harrington complete with replica Viking ships, or his plans to start a boffer group. Then he came up with this – and yes, I did smile wide, but stopped short of laughing until after I dropped him off and I got to repeat it:

“My mind is like a maze with many different paths, all of which lead to dead ends.”

Saturday, January 24, 2009


Thane tells me, “Mama, you’re not a toy.”

“You’re right! I’m a Mama. I’m a person,” I said.

“You’re not a person! You’re a girl!” he tells me.

The peanut gallery, known around here as Dave, added, “Thane harkens back to the old way of thinking.”

Further discussion indicated that boys are people, but girls are girls.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Hating Waiting Rooms

Last night I decided to do a little blog reading . . . I checked out Heather’s blog – she’s one of Thane’s former teachers and she has a little boy with autism who is about a half year younger than Thane. In her blog, she wrote about things she doesn’t like:

* waiting rooms- no matter what the response I get from the other people in the room towards Brian I don't think I can be happy- "every child develops at their own rate", "nothing seems wrong with him to me", and of course the staring and rolling their eyes---- okay, sometimes I have had good conversations in waiting rooms but today i'm feeling bugged by this

This one jumped out at me because I feel so much the same way. No matter what someone says about Thane, I tend to feel irritated inside. If I explain that he is on the autism spectrum, I will get comments similar comments to the ones Heather mentions, or sometimes be met with sadness and pity which bugs the heck out of me because my son is wonderful!

One of my worst experiences in a waiting room was a time when there was only one other gentleman in a large waiting room with us. He was trying to be nice to Thane, who was crying because he hates the sight, smell, look, long wait, etc., of a doctor’s office. He can be okay in the exam room, though he often goes and hides in the cabinets under the sink or some space where only a little person can get into. On this particular day, Thane was wearing a pair of appliqu├ęd overalls with a pirate design on them. When the gentleman couldn’t get my then pretty much non-verbal child to reply, he decided that Thane must be a “bad pirate.” The tone was one that was mixed with an effort to sound funny with air of “what a brat you have there.” I looked at him with my eyes burning and said, “No, he’s a scared a little boy!”

Once at horseback riding this summer, I got a comment from an older woman that Thane just wasn’t what autism looked like, especially when she was younger. No, he isn’t what autism looks like. He is what Thane looks like, and Thane happens to have an autism spectrum disorder. Are there some children who are more profoundly disabled by their autism? Yes, definitely. Are there some who have it easier than Thane? Probably, yes. But you know what? It doesn’t matter! It isn’t about comparing this kid with that kid or anything like that. It’s about Thane being the best, happiest, healthiest little boy he can be – for him. He deserves that.

I get so many comments about how hard it must be to drag him from therapy to therapy, to live with him, etc., and then all the comments to the opposite about how silly to do all this to him (note the use of to, not for him). It’s a tightrope that any parent has to walk . . . how much do you push? Where do you push? Why do you push? Some therapies or suggestions aren’t ones I consider important for Thane, while others are. I’m willing to bet that where each family sways on that tightrope varies – and that is okay and as it should be. Trust me to do what it is right for my own child – believe it or not, I actually know him and will do my very best to support him. When I’m pissed off and preoccupied with being judged, I’m not as available as I should be. I need to, as my friend Alicia says, “Be a duck. Just let it roll off.”

Monday, January 19, 2009

Isabella Needs a New Liver

My friend Chasity has twin babies who were born very early and have both faced a lot of challenges. Landon has CP, heart issues, pacemaker, and developmental delays. Isabella's primary disability is her liver. She was diagnosed with cancer just before the holidays in 2007, and was found to have cancer again right around last Thanksgiving. Now her family is looking toward transplant. Chasity has set up a fund through the Children's Organ Transplant Association. If you can help, click on the link in the picture below.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Beauty Rest

Dave is sick today. He cleared some toys off the corner of the couch and sat down. Thane started shoving him off the couch telling him, “Get off! I need my beauty rest!” It is a good thing he is cute.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Quotes from Thane

“Mama, your voice sounds funny,” Thane told me this morning.

I started to reply, “Yes, my nose is . . . ”

He cut me off and said, “No Mama, it’s your mouth. Your mouth sounds funny. You’re so silly, Mama!”

I smiled and agreed with him. It is my nasal congestion making my mouth and voice sound funny. My nose doesn't have sound coming out of it (usually).

He’s quite literal.

Another cute one . . . On “Barney,” the purple dinosaur and his friends sing about “Please and Thank You” being the magic words. Thane asked Braeden for something, but didn’t include please to be polite.

Braeden asked, “What is the magic word.”

Thane replied, “Abracadabra!”

I love it!

Friday, January 09, 2009

Yeah, Mama

"Calm down, Mama. I'm just a person." -- Thane

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Choked Up Over Grilled Cheese

I actually got all choked-up and teary yesterday over a grilled cheese sandwich. I know that seems weird, but it was Thane who was eating it . . . his very first grilled cheese sandwich that he has actually eaten any of, and some of it on his own.

I wonder if he thinks his family is totally off the wall when we celebrate things like that? We all were so proud of him, especially when he asked for another bite. And he ate more than half, probably close to three-quarters.

He does have a new trick up his sleeve for when he is asked to eat new foods, though. He pushes his belly out to make it look bloated, and then announces that he can't eat it because it will make him sick.

Art from School

Braeden has never gone to a school where they do these kind of formal little art projects. I didn't miss them when he was younger, but I do find I am enjoying the ones that come home with Thane. I suppose part of it is that Thane still isn't drawing or coloring, so without some of this stuff I wouldn't have anything!

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Happy New Year

Happy New Year . . .

I am enjoying some of Thane's new art. He calls this one "Pile of Cars."