Meeting the Horses

Wow, this is my 200th blog post!


Thane goes into the Freedom Riders stable for the first time, safely in Daddy's arms. He handled everything beautifully!


He was a little hesitant at first to pet Lucy. He wanted to rename her Pinto, like his Fur Real Pony, which is named after a horse in Dora or Diego.


He did pet her a couple of times! She's the smallest we saw and very seems very sweet.


Braeden got to know Lucy, too.


There were a lot of beautiful horses. Quite a variety, and all very pretty.


It was really easy to get Thane to try on a special hat for riding horses.


He looked so cute -- I wish the lighting was better but I didn't want to use a flash in case it bothered the horses.


What a cute silhouette!


Thane did not like the idea of the belt at all, but because he won't be in a saddle it is important to have some handles so the guides can hold onto him. He'll be working with three people -- one leading the horse, and two on either side to keep him safe.


The big open indoor arena was appealing for a good run -- something he won't be able to do once therapy starts! We were lucky because I asked if I could come by and get some photos and they let us all come in for a look. He starts riding in two weeks!!!


He kept the hat/helmet on for 5 minutes, which is pretty good for him. We didn't bother to take one home as he really seemed like he was going to adjust to this well. I am sure he will be scared when he first gets on a real horse, but I think he'll decide to like it pretty quick.


His team will help him do things for himself from the start -- here he is getting out of the belt.

It may work out that Braeden can come with us and watch, which would be nice (and helpful for me) . . . but he may be starting up with the theater troupe being formed in town. He also begins spring sailing the same week as Thane starts horseback riding. I have to say, I think my kids are pretty darn lucky they get to do these things.

Like a . . .

Chatty boy is definitely tickling our funny bones around here.

Thane was told he couldn't have a treat he was asking for until he ate some real food for lunch. His response:

“I know, how about a hot dog? It's like a food?”

I guess it is like a food, as opposed to actually being food!

This afternoon he had Braeden giggling. They were playing and Braeden had a penguin. They were discussing who the penguins best friend was (and I forget, so much for my storytelling!). Braeden asked Thane if he had a best friend. He thought for a moment and said, “Yes. Me!” Seems accurate.

Airplanes & Changes

April is Autism Awareness Month. I have meant to do something about it, but somehow between lists, some minor efforts on FoggyRock, and life, it simply hasn’t happened in any form other than my usual journal blogging.



I took the above photos of airplanes flying overhead as I sat out back on the deck this afternoon watching the boys as Dave worked on putting a new swing set together. For some reason, I have always liked to take pictures of airplanes, even though one can’t really get a good picture of something that far away that is moving so fast. I also took about 200 pictures of the kids.


I was thinking to myself that the children have really changed a lot since last spring. Braeden had just had his hair cut short again so the difference in how he looks is really dramatic. For Thane, his looks haven’t morphed that much in my opinion, other than the fact that he is bigger. But in other ways, he has changed so much.

At 2 years old he used to scream, hide, run into a house or car when a plane flew overhead.

At 3 years old he stopped what he was doing and would point out airplanes, often using sign language to make his exclamations clear. He moved through being nervous about them, but the sound always impacted him.

At 4 years old now airplanes going overhead today didn’t faze him at all. In fact, I pointed an airplane out to him when he didn’t even notice it.

Thane also played with his sand table. Then he got into the sandbox! We walked from wood deck, to stone path, to grass, to crushed stone, to wood border around play area . . . without hesitations.


He’s speaking in much more elaborate sentences now, which has been really wonderful and fun!

He still lines things up.



Braeden is taking on more responsibilities, but also testing limits a bit more. He walked the dog only to the stream today, which was a limit I gave him. Dave wants him to go further, but this seemed good to me. I had to laugh at the face in this last photo – I wonder what he was thinking? He was trying to do routines on the trampoline and Thane was getting on and off, so perhaps Thane was too close to allow him to do what he was trying to do? Check out the teenager hair!

Stick Under Car

Today my car started making some weird sounds – it seemed like perhaps I got a stick underneath or something like that. Braeden was kind of tired after school and I had to wait outside about an hour with Thane as he was still asleep – he often naps when we go get Braeden in the afternoon.

When we got out of the car, I asked Thane to look under the car and see if there was a stick. He squatted down and said, “No stick. A rock. There’s a rock under the big blue car.” I see the one little rock on the pavement and chuckle to myself as it more pebble-size in my mind.

Thane stood up and started down the path to the house, but he stopped and said, “There’s a stick!” He picked it up, walked back over to the car, and put it underneath. “There Mama, there’s a stick under car.”

He is too cute!

More Thane Conversations

Thane was upset with me for having him hold my hand as we walked from school to the van. We had been exiting a back door where no one parks, but I switched because the kids are playing outside until pickup time this week.

I said, “I know you don’t like it, but I want to keep you safe because I love you.”
He replied in an upset tone. “I don’t want to love you! I don’t want to love you!” Then he sighed and said, “I love you.”

I thought it was great communication because I bet it is just what he was feeling.

Later the same day, we headed out to get Braeden from school. Thaney fell asleep in the car, so he didn’t notice me pick up Braeden, and he stayed asleep until after we got home. I stayed in the car with him for awhile, and when I finally woke him up he looked around and said:

“No Braeden. We didn't find her. Good try, Mama. We can try again. Maybe next time . . .”

I explained that we did pick up Braeden while he was asleep in the car, and that Braeden was in the house already. He took off for the house calling “Bwaeden!” at the top of his lungs, and flung himself at big brother when he found him.

Thane Conversations

Thane has been filling in two sides of a conversation for awhile . . .

He'll start with a sneeze, often fake.

“Gesundheit.”

“Thank you, Thaney.”

“You’re welcome, Thaney.”

Today was a little different. We got to school and he saw a bunch of the play things outside. He said:

“Oh, it’s a slide! I want to slide!”

“Me too!”

“Me three!”

This could get interesting.

Give an Inch, Take 3 Miles

I think for the post part I post positive things about my almost 10-year-old son, Braeden. In general, he’s a pretty good kid. Yesterday, though, he plain and simply scared the crap out of me!

He came home from his play and he looked at his To Do List, which included the standards such as piano and guitar practice, as well as one money-maker which is a job out of the normal activity range. He decided he would rather walk the dog than do the money-maker, which is absolutely fine. Usually the two of them go perhaps to Castner Road and back, which is not far beyond our property line. Sometimes he will go up Oak Ridge, which runs through our second parcel. He can have some trouble with Mist because she is a pretty big dog with few manners – she was never formally trained, and huskies, even if they are muttskies, like to pull. Brae will get nervous if she is too bouncy and come home.

I expected him back before Dave even headed to the grocery store. Dave left and called me after he stopped and chatted with Braeden about a half mile down the road. They were doing well and I was told not to worry. I got side-tracked for a bit and then I realized he still wasn’t home. No biggie, he is probably skateboarding in the driveway and the dog is watching off leash. Nope, not out front. Not out back. I call his cell phone. It’s on his desk, and not even on, so that didn’t work.

I called Dave and he was rather dismissive. Thane was asleep so I didn’t know if I should wake him and try to drive around and find Braeden. I called Dave again and told him to come home. A few minutes later, Braeden called. Of course, I didn’t have the best greeting for him – “Where the hell are you?” is what I asked.

If I had half a brain, I would have realized from the Caller ID, but sometimes I forget that the home phone is not like cell phones – it gives you the name if the person calls from a registered phone, not just any phone you plug into your contacts list. I was thinking he might have met up with members of this friend’s family down the road, but no, he was at their house – three miles away. It was one of those moments where you want to cry with relief, hug your child, and throttle him at the same time. Three miles is way too far for a boy two weeks shy of 10 to be walking with only the protection of an 11½-year-old dog, even if she weighs 89 pounds. I asked him to get permission to stay there until Dave could pick him up – he was ready to start walking back!!!

On the one hand, I am proud of him for controlling the dog and walking so far. On the other hand, what on earth possessed him to think that was safe? His school has a policy where they don’t make rules until they need to – I definitely understand the concept more and more over time.

On a side note, the old dog was pretty funny today. I had someone here from HughesNet as I tried upgrading my service and the new modem wouldn’t commission because of a receive error. The repairman came today and Mist got up and sniffed him for a second, and they just lay down on the floor, in his path, and stayed there. She didn’t follow him out or any of the usual stuff. Poor dog had only started her arthritis meds on Saturday so she probably needed to take it easy today.

Wind in the Willows

Our town has an historic old theater that has seen a lot of change over the years we have lived here (well I suppose anywhere would, we have been here 20 years already!). Braeden was in a production of Treasure Island just after he turned eight, but didn’t want to return because he didn’t work well with the people running the youth program. We missed the boat on some of the productions with new people in charge, but he auditioned for The Wind in the Willows. I'm proud of him for giving it another chance. His initial role was that of the gypsy king (gypsy queen Zelda in the book). He ended up playing a policeman and a weasel as well. His stage fright was related to changing from Zeldon to the Policeman in only one page of script, as opposed to all the lines he had to speak!

Tenth

While I was uploading posts, I got a call from Dave . . . Braeden placed 10th at the District Pinewood Derby competition for Cub Scouts. Not bad considering this is for the top kids from all the Downeast packs. . . Especially since he only had two days to make the car.

Now he gets a few hours to relax before he takes the stage again tonight at the local theater. He is trying out for a role in "Macbeth" next week.

Mama!

This is one of those moments that charms me everyday, so I decided to capture it on video. Some people think that a child on the spectrum will be expressionless and without attachments to people. Not Thane!

Checking New Schools

Do you remember when refrigerators needed to be defrosted? Did you move into your first apartment and notice a wretched smell in the fridge? Then pull out the bottom drawer to find underneath that strong smelling brown congealed goo? You can remove some of it with a scraper like extra stiff year-old uncovered Jell-O but you have to work for hours to get all the crud off? You swear you'll never use that stinky fridge, but within a week or two you have milk for cereal and 5/$1 macaroni and cheese?

That's what the school I visited Wednesday smelled like.It’s the kind of smell that gives you a headache that stays with you all day.

The people all seemed nice, and there was lots of space, nice outside area, and plenty of staff for the number of children. But the whole scene seemed like sensory overload for Thane – he is one of those little guys who gets really excited and happy, but has a hard time organizing himself and coming down again once he is over-excited. 

In some ways I feel too picky, but it also seems like it would be hard to keep him from being glutened. There was art with glutenous pasta, dog biscuits, cat treats, etc. I worry that not only would he have trouble settling down and focusing in the environment, but that it would be really hard to keep him safe. Also knowing that they did mitigation for mold and having that vile odor is worrisome for any child, not just one who with so many allergies and sensitivities. As it is, he wasn't in school for a full week between mid-November and mid-March because of illness, and this is with a staff that has kept him away from his known allergens - how much would he have missed without that?
 
I called the other school I need to visit to reschedule – I’ll be going next Friday since Braeden is off school and I don’t have to drive the opposite way. I am thinking I am not going to get away without having to drive two directions next year.

Braeden on Thane

Braeden on whether it is a difficult having a little brother on the spectrum:

“Yes, but if he wasn't who he is, we'd miss him.”

Upgrading Internet

I am falling behind here because I decided to upgrade our satellite internet service only to have the dish not be able to handle it. So we have been relegated to dial-up for a few days already and need to wait until Monday for repairs. I am going to post a couple of things via my Blackberry.

Spring Sledding

The boys decided to make the best of what could be the last sledding around here as the snow is melting away.


This photo makes it look like Mist is pulling Dave and Thane up the hill, but she was really just running right in front of them. Toward the end, Thane was trying to catch her tail!


Thane was rather demanding, and insisted on riding back up hill.


Braeden has been enjoying snowboarding so much, he made himself some sled jumps on the lawn. The only problem was that every time he went over the jump, it turned his sled around so he was going down backwards.


Braeden is working on a Special Interest project for school about forensic science. I asked him to make a couple of footprints in the snow so that I could take photographs, so he chooses to go thigh deep into a snow pile.


All the humans ended up in mud at least once. Thane was very upset at first, but he recovered really well, which is fabulous!


I asked Thane to smile for a photo after he was unmasked, but he insisted on running away laughing at me. Pretty standard, but at least I caught this.

Good Eggs

Today has been a good day . . .

Braeden went snowboarding and had fun. He came home to an Easter Basket, egg coloring, egg hunt and a nice dinner. I hear he behaved beautifully and I was thrilled that neighborhood friends wanted to take him all the way to Sugarloaf. He left at 4:45 a.m. and came home a bit after 7 p.m.

Thane was cute pretty much all day long. He and I played with Playmobil dinosaurs and had fun. He had trouble because he can't apply a script so he ended up jargoning more than I have heard in awhile, but I was impressed with his efforts and the joy he was having. It is so nice to see him happily push himself, if that makes sense. Before we changed his diet he was so unlikely to challenge himself, and certainly not do so and still enjoy himself. He is blossoming!

He was totally charming about coloring eggs, something I didn't think he would necessarily do with us. I thought Thane might ask others to do the dipping for him so he wouldn’t get wet with colored dye, but he was very happy to plunge right in. He got a couple of blue-green freckles on his face and they lasted through two or three baths.

The other problem we had was that we forgot to purchase white eggs, so we only had brown . . . and we only had a dozen to work with. Three cracked in cooking, so the two kids had to share nine eggs. No one complained! Isn’t that bliss?!? I love that my kids take such joy in little things.




I thought it was interesting that dying brown eggs resulted in mostly blue and green eggs!



We put little toys and not so much candy in the eggs for our hunt and really they were just happy to collect the eggs. Braeden was especially cute because he was helping his little brother find eggs, even though Thane tried to nab each egg Braeden collected. In the end, they gathered them all together in one pile and shared the contents rather appropriately. Thane got some tiny stuffed animals that were squished into some eggs and Braeden got some other toys. It worked well. If only all holidays could go so easily and happily!

The icing on the cake, Thane tried ham for dinner. He didn't have to be pushed to touch it, or feed a piece to me, and then he actually was willing to eat more. He ate 10 small pieces, probably close to a square inch of a slice of spiral ham all total. Perfect! One can't get much better than that for a sampling session. No fuss! Yay Thane!!!

Thane has tried ham a few times without really opting to eat much, but not fighting it either. He has worked on chicken as well, but again he is willing to eat a few bites and then he wants his stand-by foods. He actually requested the chicken once, though he didn’t eat much of it. It has taken a few months to get to sampling, so I guess it probably stands to reason that this part goes a bit slowly too. At least a major part of the stress is gone.

Life is good!

Happy Spring!

I made this card and meant to mail it, but I couldn’t find the envelopes and life was too busy. Hopefully those who would have gotten it by snail mail will see it here. I had to include the melee afterward, which included the adult male, because it is just so typical of these guys. Who knew smiley-face flowers could make swords?

A Great Man

We had rather high winds on Friday in the midcoast area. I assume the winds are the reason we lost power in the afternoon. Thane was pretty upset about the television not working. When the power restored and I was able to reset the television, he looked at me and smiled his happiest grin:

“You fixed it, Mama! You’re a good man, Mama!”

Of course, he made me giggle. We’ve had conversations about gender confusion and having opposites backwards (up is down, down is up. Part of it may be his over-specifying, as in our conversation about our dog:

Thane: “There he is!”

Me: “Mist is a girl. There she is!”

Thane: “No! That’s a Misty.”

Me: “Yes, and Misty is a girl – a she.”

Thane: “Misty is like a dog.”

Me: “Yes, Misty is a dog.”

Thane: “He is like an animal.”

Me: “She is an animal.”

Thane: “Bye-bye, Mama!” (Interpretation: you’re annoying me so I’m leaving!)

Mealtime Therapy and Food Sampling

For ages I have been meaning to reply to Melissa’s comment on the mealtime therapy we have been doing with Thane. The problem we have run into is that he has been very self-limiting in what he eats and his first response has been to push things away or throw them, unless they were things he requested. Of course, he was apt to ask for popcorn, cookies or popsicles!

When we asked for help getting him to try new foods, we weren’t really expecting the whole finish everything on your plate thing, or even having to have all meals and snacks at the table. We’re not that regimented around here, though we could see something positive about the process especially because of weight issues in the house.

It was so time-consuming: preparing things, all the separate dishes, sitting until he finished cooperatively, etc. Some days, it was too much. I noticed a pattern for myself where by Wednesday evening I was just done with it all. I was tired of driving around, getting stuck at the table, and having what didn’t feel like a lot of fun with Thane. It was work. It was stress. Even if it went well it just wasn’t natural.

Thane is a visual learner, which I think is part of what the behavioral therapist was looking at when making the plan. Thane also likes predictability . . . though he also wants to control his world. It was clear that he appreciated lunch right after getting home from school – it was his best meal of the day. Afternoon snack went pretty well, but dinner, when I truly wanted the whole family together, was usually pretty awful. The tension spilled over to everyone, and being tired we were all less able to deal with it.

The goal was to get Thane used to finishing his plate of food and drink – even if that was one bite and one sip. That way when we move to sampling, it’s predictable. If you finish that one pea-size bite on your plate, you’re done. You don’t have to eat more than that, but you do need to try it.



I thought long and hard about what Melissa said – is it worth it? Should we let go? It’s not like he is still failure to thrive. This is where ABA and I don’t mix well. I believe in positive parenting and punishing is very uncomfortable to me. Forcing Thane to sit at the table five times a day seemed like punishment because he didn’t want to do it. The only good part was no half-eaten grapes stuck to the furniture in the living room!

The therapist has always been clear that his job is to work with our family – not to tell us what to do . . . he gives us a plan and we decide if it is comfortable. What I realized is that I wasn’t fully honest with him, or I wasn’t realizing that I wouldn’t like it until I got into the treatment. I can be very agreeable at first and then start over-thinking everything afterward.

What we decided was that we did need to back off . . . not back off on the goal of sampling new foods, but back off on the regimented eating plan. We reduced to meals at the table and snacks could be eaten elsewhere without having to finish everything. It was easier on all of us. Thane was even choosing to come to the table and ask for meals and such.

On Monday, we learned how to do the sampling and it went pretty well. We’re going to try a rotation of a few different foods to sample. My problem is that in the process I worry about allergies rearing up again. We’ve had so much trouble with him being ill this winter and he seems like when his body is fighting allergies he’s more likely to get sick. This week may be the first time he gets to school each day since November.

I got paperwork in for a different preschool starting in summer – Thane’s ESY calls for 5 days per week over the summer, pretty much the same services we have during the school year. I also got all our paperwork in for Freedom Riders, so hopefully we’ll get a spot and start that in May. I am very excited about that.

Would You Buy Anything from This Kid?

I have been doing the newsletter for Braeden's school. A lot of times, getting information from there is like pulling teeth. When I ordered a sweatshirt, I had no clue what it was going to look like. This year they started advertising again with no information other than color. After no pictures were forthcoming, I took Braeden outside and had him pose in his sweatshirt. Last week I used two nice smiling pictures, one showing the front of the shirt and the other showing his name embroidered on the sleeve.

This week I am not being nearly so proper. I think they have only sold a dozen or so shirts (probably because they are embroidered, so they cost $25), but I thought maybe no one was paying attention. Across the top of the order form is the string of pictures of Braeden taken in rapid succession with the sport feature on my camera. He's a ham and a half, isn't he? Today we found his school hat, so I was taking pictures. After fighting to get photos of the boys with bunny ears, I decided to go ahead and add bunny ears to the hat. I don't know if it will sell any more shirts, but I think I am funny!

Braeden a Bigger Thane

Thane wasn't feeling well and was sitting with me in the rocker-recliner when Braeden was dropped off by carpool. "Braeden’s home! Look, Mama, it’s me, only bigger!”

Isn't that cute?