Spring Sledding

The boys decided to make the best of what could be the last sledding around here as the snow is melting away.


This photo makes it look like Mist is pulling Dave and Thane up the hill, but she was really just running right in front of them. Toward the end, Thane was trying to catch her tail!


Thane was rather demanding, and insisted on riding back up hill.


Braeden has been enjoying snowboarding so much, he made himself some sled jumps on the lawn. The only problem was that every time he went over the jump, it turned his sled around so he was going down backwards.


Braeden is working on a Special Interest project for school about forensic science. I asked him to make a couple of footprints in the snow so that I could take photographs, so he chooses to go thigh deep into a snow pile.


All the humans ended up in mud at least once. Thane was very upset at first, but he recovered really well, which is fabulous!


I asked Thane to smile for a photo after he was unmasked, but he insisted on running away laughing at me. Pretty standard, but at least I caught this.

Good Eggs

Today has been a good day . . .

Braeden went snowboarding and had fun. He came home to an Easter Basket, egg coloring, egg hunt and a nice dinner. I hear he behaved beautifully and I was thrilled that neighborhood friends wanted to take him all the way to Sugarloaf. He left at 4:45 a.m. and came home a bit after 7 p.m.

Thane was cute pretty much all day long. He and I played with Playmobil dinosaurs and had fun. He had trouble because he can't apply a script so he ended up jargoning more than I have heard in awhile, but I was impressed with his efforts and the joy he was having. It is so nice to see him happily push himself, if that makes sense. Before we changed his diet he was so unlikely to challenge himself, and certainly not do so and still enjoy himself. He is blossoming!

He was totally charming about coloring eggs, something I didn't think he would necessarily do with us. I thought Thane might ask others to do the dipping for him so he wouldn’t get wet with colored dye, but he was very happy to plunge right in. He got a couple of blue-green freckles on his face and they lasted through two or three baths.

The other problem we had was that we forgot to purchase white eggs, so we only had brown . . . and we only had a dozen to work with. Three cracked in cooking, so the two kids had to share nine eggs. No one complained! Isn’t that bliss?!? I love that my kids take such joy in little things.




I thought it was interesting that dying brown eggs resulted in mostly blue and green eggs!



We put little toys and not so much candy in the eggs for our hunt and really they were just happy to collect the eggs. Braeden was especially cute because he was helping his little brother find eggs, even though Thane tried to nab each egg Braeden collected. In the end, they gathered them all together in one pile and shared the contents rather appropriately. Thane got some tiny stuffed animals that were squished into some eggs and Braeden got some other toys. It worked well. If only all holidays could go so easily and happily!

The icing on the cake, Thane tried ham for dinner. He didn't have to be pushed to touch it, or feed a piece to me, and then he actually was willing to eat more. He ate 10 small pieces, probably close to a square inch of a slice of spiral ham all total. Perfect! One can't get much better than that for a sampling session. No fuss! Yay Thane!!!

Thane has tried ham a few times without really opting to eat much, but not fighting it either. He has worked on chicken as well, but again he is willing to eat a few bites and then he wants his stand-by foods. He actually requested the chicken once, though he didn’t eat much of it. It has taken a few months to get to sampling, so I guess it probably stands to reason that this part goes a bit slowly too. At least a major part of the stress is gone.

Life is good!

Happy Spring!

I made this card and meant to mail it, but I couldn’t find the envelopes and life was too busy. Hopefully those who would have gotten it by snail mail will see it here. I had to include the melee afterward, which included the adult male, because it is just so typical of these guys. Who knew smiley-face flowers could make swords?

A Great Man

We had rather high winds on Friday in the midcoast area. I assume the winds are the reason we lost power in the afternoon. Thane was pretty upset about the television not working. When the power restored and I was able to reset the television, he looked at me and smiled his happiest grin:

“You fixed it, Mama! You’re a good man, Mama!”

Of course, he made me giggle. We’ve had conversations about gender confusion and having opposites backwards (up is down, down is up. Part of it may be his over-specifying, as in our conversation about our dog:

Thane: “There he is!”

Me: “Mist is a girl. There she is!”

Thane: “No! That’s a Misty.”

Me: “Yes, and Misty is a girl – a she.”

Thane: “Misty is like a dog.”

Me: “Yes, Misty is a dog.”

Thane: “He is like an animal.”

Me: “She is an animal.”

Thane: “Bye-bye, Mama!” (Interpretation: you’re annoying me so I’m leaving!)

Mealtime Therapy and Food Sampling

For ages I have been meaning to reply to Melissa’s comment on the mealtime therapy we have been doing with Thane. The problem we have run into is that he has been very self-limiting in what he eats and his first response has been to push things away or throw them, unless they were things he requested. Of course, he was apt to ask for popcorn, cookies or popsicles!

When we asked for help getting him to try new foods, we weren’t really expecting the whole finish everything on your plate thing, or even having to have all meals and snacks at the table. We’re not that regimented around here, though we could see something positive about the process especially because of weight issues in the house.

It was so time-consuming: preparing things, all the separate dishes, sitting until he finished cooperatively, etc. Some days, it was too much. I noticed a pattern for myself where by Wednesday evening I was just done with it all. I was tired of driving around, getting stuck at the table, and having what didn’t feel like a lot of fun with Thane. It was work. It was stress. Even if it went well it just wasn’t natural.

Thane is a visual learner, which I think is part of what the behavioral therapist was looking at when making the plan. Thane also likes predictability . . . though he also wants to control his world. It was clear that he appreciated lunch right after getting home from school – it was his best meal of the day. Afternoon snack went pretty well, but dinner, when I truly wanted the whole family together, was usually pretty awful. The tension spilled over to everyone, and being tired we were all less able to deal with it.

The goal was to get Thane used to finishing his plate of food and drink – even if that was one bite and one sip. That way when we move to sampling, it’s predictable. If you finish that one pea-size bite on your plate, you’re done. You don’t have to eat more than that, but you do need to try it.



I thought long and hard about what Melissa said – is it worth it? Should we let go? It’s not like he is still failure to thrive. This is where ABA and I don’t mix well. I believe in positive parenting and punishing is very uncomfortable to me. Forcing Thane to sit at the table five times a day seemed like punishment because he didn’t want to do it. The only good part was no half-eaten grapes stuck to the furniture in the living room!

The therapist has always been clear that his job is to work with our family – not to tell us what to do . . . he gives us a plan and we decide if it is comfortable. What I realized is that I wasn’t fully honest with him, or I wasn’t realizing that I wouldn’t like it until I got into the treatment. I can be very agreeable at first and then start over-thinking everything afterward.

What we decided was that we did need to back off . . . not back off on the goal of sampling new foods, but back off on the regimented eating plan. We reduced to meals at the table and snacks could be eaten elsewhere without having to finish everything. It was easier on all of us. Thane was even choosing to come to the table and ask for meals and such.

On Monday, we learned how to do the sampling and it went pretty well. We’re going to try a rotation of a few different foods to sample. My problem is that in the process I worry about allergies rearing up again. We’ve had so much trouble with him being ill this winter and he seems like when his body is fighting allergies he’s more likely to get sick. This week may be the first time he gets to school each day since November.

I got paperwork in for a different preschool starting in summer – Thane’s ESY calls for 5 days per week over the summer, pretty much the same services we have during the school year. I also got all our paperwork in for Freedom Riders, so hopefully we’ll get a spot and start that in May. I am very excited about that.

Would You Buy Anything from This Kid?

I have been doing the newsletter for Braeden's school. A lot of times, getting information from there is like pulling teeth. When I ordered a sweatshirt, I had no clue what it was going to look like. This year they started advertising again with no information other than color. After no pictures were forthcoming, I took Braeden outside and had him pose in his sweatshirt. Last week I used two nice smiling pictures, one showing the front of the shirt and the other showing his name embroidered on the sleeve.

This week I am not being nearly so proper. I think they have only sold a dozen or so shirts (probably because they are embroidered, so they cost $25), but I thought maybe no one was paying attention. Across the top of the order form is the string of pictures of Braeden taken in rapid succession with the sport feature on my camera. He's a ham and a half, isn't he? Today we found his school hat, so I was taking pictures. After fighting to get photos of the boys with bunny ears, I decided to go ahead and add bunny ears to the hat. I don't know if it will sell any more shirts, but I think I am funny!

Braeden a Bigger Thane

Thane wasn't feeling well and was sitting with me in the rocker-recliner when Braeden was dropped off by carpool. "Braeden’s home! Look, Mama, it’s me, only bigger!”

Isn't that cute?

Webcam, Take II

This video is a continuation of the one below where Thane saw my laptop's webcam for the first time. We played for awhile as he was just so cute. I posted this because it really shows how wonderfully he is doing (if you get past the black eye!)

ABA and Lunch

When applied behavior analysis was suggested for Thane, my knee-jerk reaction was no way. Part of that stems from my brother and knowing that ABA, regardless of what the experts say, makes a lot of use of negative feedback or aversives. This is not my style nor Dave's.

There are many things that simply have not been worth the fight to me . . . meaning that I haven't really wanted to push him to the point of unhappiness about any behavior. That doesn't mean I don't react to him throwing toys or something (the toys get a time out away from him until he is calm), or that I think every minute of his life will be shear happiness, but I don't want to create conflict where there doesn't need to be any. Who cares if he doesn't wear clothing at home? Who cares if he lines up his cars? It's all about picking battles . . .

I also completely understand that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. We do the best thing we can think of at the moment, hind-sight makes us question our choices, and how we react in the future evolves from what has worked and what hasn't.

Thane had gotten very difficult about eating meals, or eating much variety. It wouldn't matter much to me if his choices were pretty well-rounded, and if he didn't expect to eat half grapes and stick them to the furniture. He can eat a half grape if he puts the rest in a discard bowl, but the floor and furniture was just too icky. We want him to try new foods. I know this hardly seems like a crime, but he is 4 years and 2 months and has never even let a piece of pasta into his mouth. I am sure he would like it with some toppings that he enjoys, like tomato sauce, but he won't let it past his lips.

We gave the ABA guy a try because we were getting nowhere with potty training. Then he basically got the concept in a day, no pee accidents within a week, off the timer in less than a week, etc. So it worked. The first day was awful, then it turned easy.

So we decided to address the wanting Thane to eat at the table and actually finish a meal rather than eat two grapes and cry for more food in a half hour. We wanted him to eat more foods and not always be a separate meal. I wanted him to try some of the products of our efforts to make some pretty darn tasty gluten free, egg free foods (he does have dairy and some soy again). We have allergies to work around too.

The therapist suggested first a plan for eating at the table, finishing the food on his plate (which Dave is really uncomfortable with since both of us parents have a weight problem and Braeden is gaining too fast). This plan has taken as much as 5-6 hours a day to implement. It got easier for a bit, but then fell apart because of parental failure. We were sick of it!

We tried again and we had lunch with the therapist on Wednesday. It was horrible. He didn't think so, but I really felt like I was torturing my son to get him to eat a bite of waffle. I had to physically keep him in his chair. I didn't do anything that would hurt him physically; in fact, I was doing all I could to prevent him from hurting himself. I found myself thinking that maybe I should just let him live on waffles, apples, grapes and cheese after all. Maybe he doesn't need to sit with us or finish a meal on anyone else's schedule. But how will that work if he goes to school? Gets a job? And we do have the added complication that he really cannot have gluten. Gluten damages the insides. It makes him very sick for the short term, clumsy, he has trouble speaking, etc. He does need to have some guidance around food issues.

I was told I did well. I stayed calm. OK, maybe on the outside, but inside I was yelling I want to stop. NOW! So where does one go with this. Physically he is OK. Emotionally he still loves mom and hangs out with me (the webcam videos were a few hours after our ordeal). I don't want to do this anymore, even if yesterday was totally rare. It still happened and it was more than I can handle. I felt so mean. I love my kids to pieces and I know I have to correct them here and there, but this is different to me somehow. Like I am turning something small into a battle.

I'm glad he and I had so much fun later on (and Braeden too, he was laughing really hard while watching Thane watch the videos, because he says "Hi!" to them constantly). I hope I don't have any more days that make me doubt my decision to try this therapy. It's hard because eating a meal is not punishment (and a meal can be one bite) to most of us, but I guess Thane disagrees.

Thane Meets Webcam

I got a little tablet/notebook computer for Valentine's Day. It has a built in webcam, so I tried it out today. Thane was totally delighted and he was just too cute not to post this video (especially after the lunchtime fiasco earlier today).

Shiners and Clues

For a change of pace, Thane cheerfully showed off the black eye he got on the 13th for my camera. Now if only he would have stayed still for a second! He appears to have inherited his big brother's penchant for drama, closing the wounded eye and all. It actually looked much worse on the 14th and 15th, but is starting to fade now. Today he bruised his cheek on that side.



I thought these images, while not good photographs, captured a moment rather well. Before my computer died, I was printing red clues to set up a hunt for Valentine's Day. since Thane loves "Blue's Clues" I decided to make red paw prints with the numbers 1-14 on them. I also had a few blank ones. I laminated them and was cutting them out when I got caught in the act. Thane was so totally thrilled with the idea of red clues. It is hard to imagine a happier child than Thane finding those red clues. He was so adorable I had to let him have them. Doesn't he looked thrilled?!?

Chocolate Kisses

My son knows how to snooker me . . . this morning he comes in and says "I need . . . I need . . . I need . . . I need . . . I need a kiss." Thane gives me a rare kiss and then wipes his mouth as he always does . . . "I need a chocolate kiss!"

Next comment: "I got 12! See Mama?" He pilfered them from a bag of chocolates on the counter. Since both kids have issues with chocolate, as charming as he was, it really was not a good idea.

Then in the afternoon he went upstairs and came down with a handful of chocolates. I asked him, "Did you steal those from Braeden?" He puffed up big and proud and said a breathy "Yes!" As if that wasn't cute enough, he went over to the window, knocked on it, and started calling to Braeden, who was playing outside, to say, "Bwaeden! Bwaeden! I stee your chocowates! Bwaeden! I eat your chocowates!"

More Snow

It was snowing again today . . . a bit too hard for getting good photos, but they are fun anyway (at least in my opinion). This is the first day that Thane's temperature has been under 101 since last Tuesday, so he was begging to go out! Then he conned Dave into taking him around on the kick sled.

A Day in Life

It isn’t so much that he was lining up his supplements and chocolate treats before eating them . . . it’s more the look of concentration mixed with disgust at one of the vitamins being out of order. That one was eaten first to rectify the problem. To me it shows a little bit of the obsessive behavior that we deal with constantly. It doesn’t get to me all the time, but sometimes it can drive a mom a bit nuts. And I am not sure I needed any help at all with that!

Today has been one of sort of odd conversations. It made me wonder a bit about receptive language, but more likely we have entered a realm of outer space for the day and will return to Earth tomorrow.

Thane: “There’s Mist! There he is!”

Braeden:”She. Mist is a she. She’s a girl!”

Thane: “No girl. Mist is black and white.”

Next . . .

Braeden was shaking and kicking in his chair. Thane looks at him and says “Stop kicking!”

Braeden: “Thane just turned into Daddy!”

Thane: “No, Thane’s not Daddy. Braeden is Braeden.”

I was popping some popcorn and Braeden got the brilliant big brother idea to pretend to take a bear from the line. Thane started screaming “Give it back! Give back Thane’s Bear. It’s Mine. Give it Back.”

Braeden tried to explain that he never actually took it, to no avail. I kind of wanted to tell him he got himself into it if he thought Thane would possibly understand the humor of both taking his most treasured food (the one thing I haven’t had to fight about lately) and ruining a line at the same time. I mean, c’mon boy, where do you live? But, he’s nine. What do I really expect? Too much I guess.

Pinewood Trophy

The car wasn't finished until this morning, but Braeden still managed to win first place at the Cub Scout's Pinewood Derby today. He's won three out of four years now. Dave won for the adults, but Braeden's trophy looks better.

Moo

Braeden was part of a Storyteller ice show on February 1st. He played a cow. He's shown below with a friend who appeared as a sheep. They were in a Little Boy Blue segment.


Now I have to show a picture that is way more typical of how Braeden likes to pose. He is such a boy!

Don't Cheese Me, Mama!

Thane was watching television and was on edge . . . or should I say the back of the couch? . . . trying to decide if he wanted to watch or not. He has trouble watching new shows as they can be over-stimulating to him, and he really dislikes not knowing what is going to happen. If he watches it once, though, he is generally okay and remembers the whole thing. It can be difficult in the car with the older kids. It surprises me still, but even Larry the Cucumber seems to really scare Thane. I suppose it may not be the best way to get him to eat his veggies either!

I took his picture and he told me not to cheese him, but I couldn't resist doing it once.

Crafty

I'm sure anyone who checks here is infinitely curious about how I spend my spare time. Lately I have been beading things.

I find some humor in today's project . . . I made this clip and tacked it on to the window frame near where I sit at the kitchen table. Not shown in the photo is that I have clipped Thane's meal session chart to the bottom of it. Hopefully this will save the chart from future food wars, but you never know with Thane!


I also made a long memo holder for near the door. I guess it would look better if it wasn't on unfinished sheetrock, but honestly there are some things that bother me about it anyway and I have to resist re-stringing it.



I am going to do some work with sea glass, possibly something to donate for Braeden's school's auction in May. I don't tend to have a ton to offer for that kind of thing, so this may be worth a try. I've also imported some beads from Hong Kong and from the Czech Republic to use in some elaborate ceiling bead-art. I suppose I should take a photo of my office ceiling and my kitchen as well. My favorite in the kitchen right now is that we have three glass star lanterns. Thane likes to count them . . . una, dos, tres, waffle, cinco!

Fussin' An' A-Feudin'

The first musical theater production of the school year was delayed a bit because the new theater building on campus was completed a month later than expected. The children performed only six days after the construction was completed (after which Dave suggested to the school that they add a balcony and they are considering it!). Anyway, the pictures in the collage below are video camera stills and the lighting wasn't very good (they also don't have a light bar yet), but I figure it is still fun. Braeden is the conductor walking by on the top left.

The Hat Makes a Dave

Thane decided he wanted to go to school today – problem is that it was a holiday. Braeden did have school, further confusing the issue. So Thane then decided he wanted to at least go somewhere. Dave needed to go to the Union Farm Equipment to get back the wheel that fell off when he was plowing last week, so he figured he would just take Thane over there.

Thane told “Daddy” he needed a hat, and was showing him that there was one hanging off a lamp post in the sunroom. Dave grabbed a different one and put in on, to which Thane said, “Now Daddy turned into Dave!”

I giggled as I heard this, but then he still wanted that hat from in the sunroom. They went down in, Thane climbed on a bench and got the hat down. He put it on his head and said, “Now I’m Dave!”

Then Dave and Dave went to the tractor shop, which seemed somehow appropriate.

They came home with a tire and a red fire truck.